3 Steps to Upgrading Your Self-Concept

I felt like I was going crazy, but this is what happens when you begin to change your self-concept. Some people can call it an upper limit, some people call it resistance. I say it’s starting to adjust your self-concept, it’s starting to change the way in which you’re seeing yourself, because prior to that, I didn’t see myself with a car at all. And then, once I decided I wanted a car. I didn’t see myself spending that amount of money on a car. And then, as I slowly went through this chaotic 24 hour period of going back and forth of whether I should do it. It was just coming to terms with letting myself move into this new self concept of seeing me drive this $22,000 car.

After all, manifestation is about how you see yourself, right?

When you see yourself as someone who is a penny pincher, a saver, someone who doesn’t spend frivolously, someone who doesn’t go out and buy $22,000 cars, who instead goes and buys a secondhand one for $5,000. Suddenly wanting the $22,000 car can completely throw you into an identity crisis. Because how you have seen yourself your entire life is suddenly not matching with what you’re wanting.

And this is why self-concept work is so important, and especially when you are wanting to deliberately and consciously manifest the life of your dreams when you haven’t created those things before. It requires an identity shift. In fact, it requires an identity upgrade.

I want you to think about what you’re currently trying to manifest right now, what you’re working on, what is the thing that you really want, and I want you to think just momentarily about how you see yourself with that particular thing. Is it a certain amount of money? Is it a certain type of home? Is it a certain personality trait that you’re wanting, and how do you actually see yourself in relation to that right now? How did you see yourself just a couple months ago in relation to that desire, and how would you like to see yourself in relation to that from now on? Are they all the same or are they all different?

This will tell you so much about where your self-concept is and what you need to do to upgrade it, but since this is an entire episode about upgrading your self-concept, I want to give you three really simple steps to upgrade your self-concept.

I’m at the beginner stage of getting ready to move. I am moving into a beautiful new home and a new city in a month’s time, and in terms of finding this home, I had to put myself out there. I had to go and actually look at homes. I had to reach out to different landlords or different property management companies to go and have a look at what was available. I couldn’t do this just sitting in my room at home. I needed to go out there and put myself out there and go and see what I wanted, see what felt right, see what felt good, just like I did with the car. I needed to test drive different places to see how they felt.

So I was essentially putting myself in the upgraded situation, seeing myself in a new home, in the new city, in the new life that I want to be living. I had to see myself there in order to put myself there, hence going to look at different places.

My question to you is: What is a way for you to experience the thing that you desire in your physical reality right now, whether it’s by observation or felt experience?

What can you do right now? If you want to buy a car, go and test drive it. If you want to buy a new home, go to open homes. If you want to change your hairstyle or change your looks, go to MAC and get a makeover.

Put yourself into the upgraded situations, because what you’re going to do is you’re going to find how you feel in that situation. More often than not, it’s going to feel a bit awkward. You’re going to feel resistance come up. You’re going to have opposing thoughts that make you think, “This isn’t me, I shouldn’t be doing this. What am I doing? Who do I think I am? And this is not okay.”

You don’t have to make it affect anything that you’re doing. But putting yourself into the upgraded situation is going to show you where you’re at and it’s also going to show you that this is why you haven’t been in this upgraded situation. It’s to gather feedback, but also to help normalize this new upgraded situation that you want to be in.

Step 2: Observe Yourself As You Experience The Upgraded Situation

Like I said, you will probably recognize some peculiar thoughts and feelings that pop up as you’re experiencing this upgraded situation. So, just like what happened when I was test driving my car, you notice different thoughts like,

“Who do you think you are for wanting something so lavish or so fancy or so expensive?”

“This car or house or office or lifestyle is a bit excessive for me.”

“People will think I’m a fraud or wannabe or loser if I have this much money.”

You’ll notice all kinds of things pop up as you let yourself be exposed to the upgraded life, situation, reality and mindset that you want to move into.

This is a sign that you are hitting the resistance. This is your old self-concept pushing up against you and going, “Hey, what are we doing? What’s going on here? This is not what I signed up for. My self-concept is this and now you’re doing something totally different. That is going against me. What is going on?”

But, like I said, it’s just feedback.

Observe it.

It is nothing to make meaning of. You do not have to now go and feel bad or feel like you are falling behind or making a mistake or doing anything wrong, because you are having these thoughts and feelings. They are the correct thoughts and feelings to be having with the current self-concept you have. All you’re trying to do is move into a new self-concept and that has a little bit of wobbliness. There’s going to be some overlap where there’s two different self-concepts going on as you’re trying to move and let go of the old one.

Don’t look at this time as something to judge, as something to get upset about, as something to make a whole lot of meaning out of. I don’t want you to do any of that. This is just to observe. It’s a transition time, so this is the time when you should be ultra gentle on yourself, right? No judging, no berating, just observing and gently directing you towards that new self-concept.

Step 3: Shift Into The New Self-Concept Through the Resistance

Even though I had a looooot of self-doubt, fear and resistance come up while buying my car (A.K.A the old self-concept running the show) I continued to go through the process of buying it because I had chosen the new self-concept I wanted to have. I did it afraid and uncertain, but stull very excited.

The self-concept that I wanted to have was now being a person who owns this car, who happily pays for this type of car, who drives this car, who has this beautiful car and is very confident in it and loves driving it.

I continued to move towards the self-concept I wanted, despite feeling the resistance as it came up.

While you are experiencing resistance or experiencing the old self-concept knocking on your door, saying, “Hey, what the hell?” I want you to persist in the new self-concept while doing it afraid, doing it unsure and uncertain, doing it without knowing 100% how you’re going to feel at the end of it.

Ultimately, you know where you want to go, even though you don’t know for sure what it’s going to be like when you get there. You know something in you is saying this is what I want, this is me, this is my heart’s desire, so I’m going for it. I want you to persist in seeing yourself that way, seeing yourself with the desire having already manifested.

If it is a physical thing, like a car or a house, or a person even, or if it is an experience, like traveling to some location or experiencing something in relationship with someone you love, I want you to persist in focusing on that and seeing that, seeing yourself with it, no matter the resistance.

The point of resistance is just feedback from your old self-concept, trying to get back into the driver’s seat, but it’s not about making any meaning of it. It’s not about letting any of it hold you back. It’s just about observing it and going for it anyway, letting the new self-concept, the upgraded self-concept, consume you and continuing to explore and immerse yourself in it, whatever that looks like.

So, my love, that is how you upgrade your self-concept.

Now it’s your turn: What is the current self-concept that you’re working with and what new self-concept you would like to upgrade to?

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